Marathoning Begins With the Mind . . .

Marathoning begins with the mind, not with the feet.

I wish that was my quote, but it's not.  It's one of the quotes I have learned in my short time thus far with KatyFit.  KatyFit is the marathon training group I am working with to prepare for my "about to turn 30 Bucket List."  And let me tell you what, it's a lot harder than it looks!

Six short weeks ago, I started on this journey to run 13.1 miles.  Our first run was what they term a "pace-finder," which essentially tells you your regular running pace, and places you in a training group with other runners similar to your pace.  Then you can train with others of your ability.  I'm in the Red pace group.  Yes, Red means slow.  Shocker, right?  Basically, my training pace is an 11 minute per mile or more leisurely.  But honestly, I don't really care what my pace is.  I just want to finish a half marathon!

They say when you join KatyFit (or any USAFit training program across the nation) that you will emerge after 27 weeks stronger, fit, happy, and mentally strong.  Stronger in your personal life, stronger in your exercise life, and stronger overall.  You know what?  I believe it.

My first week, we ran a 1.5 mile pacefinder.  It was the longest 15 minutes of my life.  I came in from that run panting like a dog, and honestly disappointed that I was placed in the Red group.  Here I am, 6 weeks later, more thankful than I've ever been in my life.

This morning, I ran 4 miles.  I ran 4 miles with the Red nation, my training group.  I'm in the continuous half group, which means we run continuously (no stopping or walking), and we are training for a half marathon.  If you had told me six weeks ago that I would run 4 miles without stopping, I would have laughed in your face.  But here I am.  I'm still running. 

Last night, I could not sleep at all.  I was tossing and turning, contemplating the fact that the farthest distance I'd ever run was 3.3 miles.  And yet, the following morning, I would be attempting 4 miles.  I finally fell asleep at about 2 am, and when the time came for me to awake at 6 am, I was worse for the wear.  I remember turning off my alarm, and announcing to my husband that I wasn't going, since I'd only gotten 4 hours of sleep.  He was silent for a second, then asked if I was sure, as he knew I'd be disappointed in myself.  I ignored him, but his words stewed inside of me.

Of course I'd be disappointed in myself - but I'd only gotten 4 hours of sleep.  Four hours, since I had been mentally torturing myself the night before.  Telling myself that I couldn't, that I'd never make it, and what was I thinking trying to run a half marathon.

Then I stopped.  I never thought I'd make it to two miles after that first week.  And yet, I was still running.  And I would keep running.

I am an athlete.  I deserve to be here with all of these elite athletes.

Another KatyFit quote.  One I repeated to myself over and over again as I lay in bed this morning.  I finally forced myself to get up and get dressed.  I told myself I was running 4 miles that day, whether I did it right then with my running group, or I did it in 4 hours (in the heat of the day) by myself.

I think that was the deciding factor.  It's a curious thing, training with a group.  You are more willing to complete distances that you would never attempt on your own.  When you're dying inside, ready to quit and desperate for rest, yet you're encouraging the running partner beside you, there's no way you'll quit.  Because not only would you be letting yourself down, but you would let your group down as well.  And that, my friends, is the power of not going it alone.

This morning, I ran 4 miles.  Continously, at a pace of around 11:17.  Could I have gone faster?  Yes.  However, could I have gone farther?  Absolutely.  And that is why I run.  Why I believe in the power of KatyFit, and why I will keep showing up for further and further distances as we get closer to January.

It didn't hit me until I got in the car and called my husband to let him know I was on my way home.  Then, the tears flowed forth.  I am an athlete, and I do deserve to be here.  There's no reason for me to stay awake the night before, contemplating the upcoming distance.  I can do this, and I will do this.  And I will cross that finish line in January.