After swim lessons, we always go into the ladies locker room to change. Today, we had a bit of a . . . comedy show . . . in the locker room. I'm not sure why I'm delineating that we had a comedy show today, considering that we have a comedy show every day in our house, however, today we had a bit of an audience.
I was drying Sammy with his towel, and asked him to pull down his swim trunks to change. When he did, he happened to notice that his penis was blue. And announced it to everyone. "MOMMY! My penis is blue! Why is my penis blue? I don't want my penis to be blue!"
"Sammy, put your underwear on. Stop talking about your penis." Ignore stares and giggles from 5 other moms in the locker room.
"Mommy! I want my penis to be . . . " stares at arm, deciphering what color it is . . . "I want my penis to be white, like my arm. Why is my penis blue?" He's absolutely panicked. Still ignoring stares and giggles.
"Sammy, put your clothes on. NOW!" Clothes are on. We pick up Sophia from Childwatch. We load into the truck, and head down Westheimer Parkway to Target.
"Mommy, did the pool make my penis turn blue? Did Miss Denise's pool make my penis blue?" Miss Denise is Sammy's swim teacher. He loves her. I launch into a discussion of bloodflow and cold. It takes me about five minutes and is horrible. Afterwards, I tell him if he has any other questions about his penis, he should ask his Daddy when he gets home from work.
Later on at dinner, Sammy announces, "Daddy! In the locker room today, my penis was BLUE!" Mike had already been forewarned. He replied, "Yep, when your penis gets cold, it turns blue." End of story. "OK, Daddy." A five minute conversation, condensed into 9 words.
Apparently, I don't speak penis talk. Next time there is a penis issue, my response is going to be "Talk to your dad!"
No comments:
Post a Comment