I went to the Toys 'R Us located by West Oaks Mall. Back in the day, that was the closest Toys 'R Us to the Katy area, and it was pretty nice. I was in a hurry, and ran in to quickly grab a present for someone. It was right after Christmas time, so lots of children were there to spend their Christmas money, and all of the lines were long and busy.
After waiting in line what had felt like an eternity, my temper was starting to flare. Right in front of me was a mom with two young children. I can picture them in my mind even today. The oldest was a boy, probably around age 8, and the youngest was a girl, I'm thinking about age 5. I can't honestly remember, because I was young then as well and not very skilled at judging ages.
Both of the children were clutching their money, and their mom was trying to make their shopping experience a learning experience for them. Each child checked out separately, and carefully counted out their dollars and change to make their purchase. I know this now. But at the time, I was 16. And I can honestly say I was a brat.
I was in a hurry, and I was really wanting to get out of the toy store. I was late for something, but today I honestly can't remember what I was late for, or why it was so important. What I remember is something I'm not too proud of.
I was ugly to that mom and her children. I don't remember what I said, or what I did. But I do remember the ugly attitude I displayed that day. Something along the lines of, hurry up already - just pay for their toys and get out of the way. And I'm not proud of it.
The mom did something I will never forget. She turned to me, and she said, "You are so rude and disrespectful." Then she turned to her children, and said "Do you see how she acts? Don't you ever act like that. Ever. That is ugly and mean. Don't ever be like her." I rolled my eyes in typical teenager fashion, but her words were true. And being a mother now, I can't say that I wouldn't say the same thing to my children. Especially if I was trying to help them learn about saving and budgeting and spending their money wisely. Which is honestly all this mother was trying to do.
I'm ashamed of that moment in my life. I'm so ashamed that I've never told anyone. If I could go back, I would be the person that I am now. The one who would squat down and look the children in the eyes, and ask if they had saved a long time for their presents, and what they planned to do with them at home. I wish I could go back. But perhaps I needed that to show me the error of my ways.
Today I experienced the flip side of that equation. Twice. Once was personal, the second was merely an observation. When we got to the Y this morning, I was carrying Sophia and Sammy was holding my hand. I noticed myself that Sammy was being a bit of a pokey little puppy, but he is my son, and he loves to do things all by himself. When we got to the double doors that lead into the Childwatch area, he reached up to open the door.
I heard a large, pathetic, disgusted sigh behind me, and turned to see another mom, holding her daughter, approximately age 1, and carrying her yoga mat. She announced, "excuse me," in a rude voice, and proceeded to reach around my 3 year old son, whip the door open, and barge past us rudely into the vestibule of the Childwatch area. I turned to the other mom standing behind me, and she shook her head sadly. I nodded in agreement.
I watched Yoga mom hurriedly sign her child in, and then push her 1 year old towards the room and run off with her yoga mat in tow. I understand she was late to yoga class, but I have a 3 year old little boy who is so anxious to show his independence. And she took that from him this morning, when he was trying to open the door, all by himself. My mind immediately flashed to that toy store, 13 years ago, and remembered the anguish and the hurt in that mom's face.
Yoga mom doesn't have a child anxious to prove their worth and individuality yet. But some day, in a few short years, she will. And maybe she'll remember the day she stormed past my pokey little puppy. Or maybe she won't. But either way, I hope she remembers what I will now never forget. Everyone has worth. Everyone's life has meaning. And everyone else's needs are just as important as yours.
This was further illustrated for me in the weight room. An elderly woman (or an Active Older Adult as the Y nicely refers to them) was using the bicep curl machine. I agree, she was working pretty slowly at her bicep curls, but someday when I am 80, I hope I can curl my biceps that well. Standing behind her was a woman in her early 20's. She was popping her gum, had fresh makeup on, and had obviously never birthed a child. Let's call her GymRat. I watched GymRat make eye contact with her friend across the room, and proceed to roll her eyes and pantomine slowly curling her biceps like the woman on the bicep machine.
When our elderly friend had finished her sets, she slowly stood up from the machine and ambled across the room. GymRat popped her gum, rolled her eyes again, and shook her head at the nerve of the elderly woman who had taken so long curling her biceps. It was honestly one of the ugliest and saddest things I've ever witnessed. And again, my thoughts flashed back 13 years to that 16 year old gum popper in the toy store who couldn't wait two minutes for two children to enjoy the fruits of their allowance.
I considered talking to GymRat. I don't know what I would have said, but I wanted to tell her that although she was a very pretty girl, her actions that day were ugly. But I decided not to. What good would have come from it? Some day, when she is helping her grandparents, she'll remember this day. And hopefully, she, too, will see the error of her ways.
What are you ashamed of? Has a moment, like mine in the toy store, made an impact on your life?
sooo good! I have to go to bed or my post tomorrow will be titled MOMA BEAR!. But I will think on it and share. Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm visiting from MBC. Love your blog.
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